Say hello to my new friend, the iPod Nano!
It’s so light! I love the saffron color. Just a note to people who want something like a canary yellow or the yellow that’s on the screen - it’s not like that at all. It’s very saffron/bright mustardy… it’s like a golden yellow.
My last iPod purchase was the first ever shuffle (hello, retro). I remember sitting in my cube in DC and calling Best Buy to see if they had them in stock, and they did, so right after work I hightailed over to the nearest branch and that night on the metro, I was bumpin’ to my shuffle. It was my companion while I frolicked on my own all over Bali.
Fast forward 4 years and I realized how much I missed music in my life. I often rely on Jay’s collection for my musical enjoyment, but I found out after Jay and I talked to my Tita (who’s an MFT, someone I saw to get to the bottom of my panic attacks) that I really need music - my music - back in my life. And I need to be dancing along to that music. Even she asked me why I wasn’t performing anymore, and I came up with the usual excuses, but I basically haven’t danced in front of an audience or taken studio classes in 8 years. Ouch.
My friend, Colleen, is part of a semi-pro dance company in LA. Semi-pro just means they all have day jobs but they meet once a week to learn choreography and set it on each other for twice a year performances. That’s really my ideal situation as well. It’s been hard here in Manila because modern dance is like… interpretive or something, and there’s no technique to it (there’s Graham, Simonson, Cunningham, Dunham… the list goes on and on), and then there’s jazz, which is so pop, I can’t handle it. The funk/hip-hop classes are the best because it’s street and I don’t expect technique, but I don’t see myself as the hip-hop dancer/performer. I really miss modern dance the way I knew it in NYC.
The theme of our conversation with my Tita was ’living the life I want’ - it was a breakthrough, because I realized that the reason why I’m unhappy here is because I am not living the life I want to live, or one that I envision for myself and Jay; this is not to take away from the happiness we do feel and have here - we have amazing friends and family all around us, it’s just that sometimes, especially as a young couple, it’s good to get away from what’s comfortable and familiar so that we can find ourselves as a family and not live the life that our parents want us to live, or ones that our friends are living, but one that is truly unique to us.
We hear a lot of people say that life abroad is hard, they don’t have yayas and maids and drivers to do everything - but I look at my girlfriends who do everything and are these superwomans and they’re totally fine. They’re not reliant on a zillion people and things and factors in order to send their kids to school and still work, or make breakfast, or serve a dinner for 8, they are just reliant on themselves, which Jay and I really dig. Going after the life we want has always been Jay’s reason for leaving, but it affects more of his work life than anything else; for me, it’s more about the lifestyle and progressive and open life philosophies I want and believe in.
Anyways, the music thing may seem pretty trivial but I’ve noticed that I just feel so much better dancing to my own groove again. Since I was so busy with other stuff, I thought, nah, I won’t get an iPod for myself, I’ll just share Jay’s. Nope - I want one of my own and now I have one of my own! My soundtrack is different from his.
My list of fave tunes to start off the day with:
Natasha Bedingfield’s Love Like This
Putumayo Collection: Cafe Cuba (all of it! Makes me salsa and mambo my way around the room)
Mariah Carey’s Dreamlover (GAD! I remember the music video for this - so awesome, that was when MTV rocked)
That’s Not My Name by The Ting Tings
Alicia Keyes’ Teenage Love Affair
and Mark Ronson’s God Put A Smile Upon Your Face (feat. The Daptone Horns) and Oh My God (feat. Lily Allen)
“It don’t matter to me/ cos all I wanted to be/ is a million miles from here/ somewhere more for me-e-e/ Oh my God I can’t believe it/ I’ve never been this far ‘way from home…” - Lily Allen
![Yay! I didn’t have to bid for a neti pot (used for nasal irrigation, or jala neti) on eBay. You can get these bad boys in Healthy Options - by far my favorite store in all of Metro Manila right now. It’s so expensive but oh well, at least I know that the stuff I’m getting isn’t filled with chemicals.
I used to have my own neti while I was living in the states but have since lost it. Since we live in one of the most polluted cities in the world, I’ve been feeling like my right nostril is clogged with… stuff. Not necessarily mucus, but allergens and … stuff! Right before going to bed and right when I wake up in the morning, it’s always clogged. It feels a bit like cotton up your nose. And then I remembered how great I felt in the spring after I neti’d - and I felt great today after using it. It dislodged all this mucus and I’m hoping that after a few weeks of jala neti and nadi shodana (alternate nostril breathing exercises), I can unclog the right nostril completely.
In addition to the neti pot, I also got garlic extract with Vitamin E, cayenne and hawthorn (Hawthorn and Vitamin E combined with garlic has been suggested to maintain a healthy heart, liver and pancreas). Preventive measures cos women in my dad’s side of the family have weak hearts, and since I take after him in terms of my physiology, I’m just being careful.
Here’s a rundown of the neti pot’s benefits care of Wikipedia (totally getting Jay to neti tonight, he came home with a slight fever and a cold last night):
Nasal irrigation is used to treat a wide range of chronic sinus symptoms; for chronic rhinosinusitis it is an effective adjunctive therapy. According to patient self-reports it improves quality of life and reduces use of medication, including antibiotics. It is also an effective measure against chronic sinus symptoms induced by work-place exposure to sawdust.[4] Further evidence suggests that nasal irrigation causes relief for both hay-fever and the common cold. The use of nasal irrigation for the related conditions of asthma, nasal polyposis and rhinitis of pregnancy has not been assessed but the symptoms of these conditions are expected to be alleviated in a similar way.[4]
Daily nasal irrigation with salt water is recommended as both an adjunctive[5] and primary treatment[6] in such cases and is preferable to the use of antibiotics or corticosteroids except in the most serious cases of acute bacterial sinusitis which should be immediately referred to an otolaryngologist.[7] In several countries, over-the-counter medicines for coughs and colds are no longer sold for infants under the age of two.[8][9] Nasal irrigation is an alternative for relieving the symptoms of such young patients.[citation needed]
Flushing the nasal cavity with salt water is believed to promote mucociliary clearance by moisturizing the nasal cavity and by removing encrusted material, although there is no clear evidence to support this.[6] The procedure has been used safely for both adults and children, and has no documented serious adverse effects. Patients treated with nasal irrigation rely less on other medications and make fewer visits to physicians. Treatment guidelines in both Canada and the United States now advocate use of nasal irrigation for all causes of rhinosinusitis and for postoperative cleaning of the nasal cavity.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/mymMkZRDcnpbvzx306ybhu2no1_400.jpg)
Yay! I didn’t have to bid for a neti pot (used for nasal irrigation, or jala neti) on eBay. You can get these bad boys in Healthy Options - by far my favorite store in all of Metro Manila right now. It’s so expensive but oh well, at least I know that the stuff I’m getting isn’t filled with chemicals.
I used to have my own neti while I was living in the states but have since lost it. Since we live in one of the most polluted cities in the world, I’ve been feeling like my right nostril is clogged with… stuff. Not necessarily mucus, but allergens and … stuff! Right before going to bed and right when I wake up in the morning, it’s always clogged. It feels a bit like cotton up your nose. And then I remembered how great I felt in the spring after I neti’d - and I felt great today after using it. It dislodged all this mucus and I’m hoping that after a few weeks of jala neti and nadi shodana (alternate nostril breathing exercises), I can unclog the right nostril completely.
In addition to the neti pot, I also got garlic extract with Vitamin E, cayenne and hawthorn (Hawthorn and Vitamin E combined with garlic has been suggested to maintain a healthy heart, liver and pancreas). Preventive measures cos women in my dad’s side of the family have weak hearts, and since I take after him in terms of my physiology, I’m just being careful.
Here’s a rundown of the neti pot’s benefits care of Wikipedia (totally getting Jay to neti tonight, he came home with a slight fever and a cold last night):
Nasal irrigation is used to treat a wide range of chronic sinus symptoms; for chronic rhinosinusitis it is an effective adjunctive therapy. According to patient self-reports it improves quality of life and reduces use of medication, including antibiotics. It is also an effective measure against chronic sinus symptoms induced by work-place exposure to sawdust.[4] Further evidence suggests that nasal irrigation causes relief for both hay-fever and the common cold. The use of nasal irrigation for the related conditions of asthma, nasal polyposis and rhinitis of pregnancy has not been assessed but the symptoms of these conditions are expected to be alleviated in a similar way.[4]
Daily nasal irrigation with salt water is recommended as both an adjunctive[5] and primary treatment[6] in such cases and is preferable to the use of antibiotics or corticosteroids except in the most serious cases of acute bacterial sinusitis which should be immediately referred to an otolaryngologist.[7] In several countries, over-the-counter medicines for coughs and colds are no longer sold for infants under the age of two.[8][9] Nasal irrigation is an alternative for relieving the symptoms of such young patients.[citation needed]
Flushing the nasal cavity with salt water is believed to promote mucociliary clearance by moisturizing the nasal cavity and by removing encrusted material, although there is no clear evidence to support this.[6] The procedure has been used safely for both adults and children, and has no documented serious adverse effects. Patients treated with nasal irrigation rely less on other medications and make fewer visits to physicians. Treatment guidelines in both Canada and the United States now advocate use of nasal irrigation for all causes of rhinosinusitis and for postoperative cleaning of the nasal cavity.
It’s been a while. It’s friggin’ May!
It’s been a while. So sorry about that.
I am leading a triple life. One is based in Alabang. One is based in Pioneer. The other is kind of in San Francisco. Let me explain. But first…
The thesis is so not happening. I think I will probably crank it out because that’s what I do - that’s what I HAVE TO DO - but it’s not going to be any good and I’ll probably look back at my short stories and shudder in 5 years. But at least I can say that I finished my thesis/MFA. Jhumpa Lahiri said that she often lets her stories breathe and grow for a couple of years before looking at them again - so if she can do it, then I can do it, too!
A few new developments:
1. I’m going to see someone about my panic attacks tomorrow. I’m anxious, relieved and apprehensive all at once. Anxious and apprehensive because we are in Manila and I am not sure how thorough, progressive, non-judgemental, cognitive and respectful counseling/therapy is over here. But my mind is put at ease because the person I am seeing is a family friend and someone who used to live abroad as well (Indonesia, in fact) and I actually know her kids (now adults, one of whom is a doctor) from our time together at JIS.
In all honesty, this whole thing has really transformed and enlightened my entire being. It’s like I am looking at an entirely different person sometimes. But 99% of the time, I offer up to myself some compassion and I remind myself that I am still me, I still had a kickass childhood, an awesome education, have fantastic friends and memories and experiences, and that I’m a bright and sprightly individual for the most part :) and that the panic - it’s just a glitch, but one that can’t and shouldn’t be ignored.
Let me describe it to you like this. There are 24 hours in a day. For 23 of them, I am absolutely fantastic. But for a collective 60 minutes, I am not OK at all. And those 60 minutes can be 20 minutes in the car, 10 minutes before I go to bed, 5 minutes while I’m at the grocery store and 25 minutes while I am sitting in front of my computer. It is that random, widespread, all-encompassing.
It has to stop. Sometimes I just have to pause. I believe that it will stop and that it is within me and my Faith to empower myself to stop.
2. My aunt is dying. We have set up a hospital room in our Alabang home for her. My Ina (grandma) is with us. My mom is basically her caretaker and nurse and friend and …everything. And my dad and I care for my mom when she is not caring for my aunt. It is humbling and life-affirming and frightening and sometimes quite sad to see, but it’s life. If or once she chooses to get off her meds, her doctor has given her about 4 weeks to live.
3. We’re moving to San Francisco, California!!! Jay and I are so incredibly happy that we are going after our dreams and not letting my panic attack or the recession or haters and neighsayers stop us. The more you tell us “hindi pwede” or “bakit ngayon pa?” the more it eggs us on - so bring it.
One thing we’ve learned - LIFE GOES ON. Despite illness and death and whatever economic situation - life must go on and there is no use fighting against the current. And the current is taking us to Northern Cali, baby. With our Faith and our faith in each other, we’re embarking on this journey and there hasn’t been a moment where we don’t smile when thinking about it.
“The present is a gift / and I just wanna / Be” - Common
I’ve only used 1 of my 4 Denyse Schmidt mini journals set from Chronicle Books (also availalbe at Wrapables.com). So I’m going back to using them (more on this in the next post).
Here’s the product description care of Wrapables:
Jot down your notes and thoughts in unique journals from our Fancy Papier Mini Journal Set (set of 4). These mini journals feature covers that are inspired by vintage fabric designs and retro floral patterns. These paperback mini journals have flexi binding and include 96 pages in each journal to record all your sketches and notes. Each set comes with four assorted paperback mini journals and a matching hardcover slipcase. Available in different style sets. Each set sold separately.
