Say hello to my new friend, the iPod Nano!
It’s so light! I love the saffron color. Just a note to people who want something like a canary yellow or the yellow that’s on the screen - it’s not like that at all. It’s very saffron/bright mustardy… it’s like a golden yellow.
My last iPod purchase was the first ever shuffle (hello, retro). I remember sitting in my cube in DC and calling Best Buy to see if they had them in stock, and they did, so right after work I hightailed over to the nearest branch and that night on the metro, I was bumpin’ to my shuffle. It was my companion while I frolicked on my own all over Bali.
Fast forward 4 years and I realized how much I missed music in my life. I often rely on Jay’s collection for my musical enjoyment, but I found out after Jay and I talked to my Tita (who’s an MFT, someone I saw to get to the bottom of my panic attacks) that I really need music - my music - back in my life. And I need to be dancing along to that music. Even she asked me why I wasn’t performing anymore, and I came up with the usual excuses, but I basically haven’t danced in front of an audience or taken studio classes in 8 years. Ouch.
My friend, Colleen, is part of a semi-pro dance company in LA. Semi-pro just means they all have day jobs but they meet once a week to learn choreography and set it on each other for twice a year performances. That’s really my ideal situation as well. It’s been hard here in Manila because modern dance is like… interpretive or something, and there’s no technique to it (there’s Graham, Simonson, Cunningham, Dunham… the list goes on and on), and then there’s jazz, which is so pop, I can’t handle it. The funk/hip-hop classes are the best because it’s street and I don’t expect technique, but I don’t see myself as the hip-hop dancer/performer. I really miss modern dance the way I knew it in NYC.
The theme of our conversation with my Tita was ’living the life I want’ - it was a breakthrough, because I realized that the reason why I’m unhappy here is because I am not living the life I want to live, or one that I envision for myself and Jay; this is not to take away from the happiness we do feel and have here - we have amazing friends and family all around us, it’s just that sometimes, especially as a young couple, it’s good to get away from what’s comfortable and familiar so that we can find ourselves as a family and not live the life that our parents want us to live, or ones that our friends are living, but one that is truly unique to us.
We hear a lot of people say that life abroad is hard, they don’t have yayas and maids and drivers to do everything - but I look at my girlfriends who do everything and are these superwomans and they’re totally fine. They’re not reliant on a zillion people and things and factors in order to send their kids to school and still work, or make breakfast, or serve a dinner for 8, they are just reliant on themselves, which Jay and I really dig. Going after the life we want has always been Jay’s reason for leaving, but it affects more of his work life than anything else; for me, it’s more about the lifestyle and progressive and open life philosophies I want and believe in.
Anyways, the music thing may seem pretty trivial but I’ve noticed that I just feel so much better dancing to my own groove again. Since I was so busy with other stuff, I thought, nah, I won’t get an iPod for myself, I’ll just share Jay’s. Nope - I want one of my own and now I have one of my own! My soundtrack is different from his.
My list of fave tunes to start off the day with:
Natasha Bedingfield’s Love Like This
Putumayo Collection: Cafe Cuba (all of it! Makes me salsa and mambo my way around the room)
Mariah Carey’s Dreamlover (GAD! I remember the music video for this - so awesome, that was when MTV rocked)
That’s Not My Name by The Ting Tings
Alicia Keyes’ Teenage Love Affair
and Mark Ronson’s God Put A Smile Upon Your Face (feat. The Daptone Horns) and Oh My God (feat. Lily Allen)
“It don’t matter to me/ cos all I wanted to be/ is a million miles from here/ somewhere more for me-e-e/ Oh my God I can’t believe it/ I’ve never been this far ‘way from home…” - Lily Allen
